Parenting: Desires in Conflict

“Parenting: Desires in Conflict”

Titus 2:3-5

Key thought: Whatever rules our heart will exercise inescapable influence over our life and behaviour.

 

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

 

 # 1: It is good for some Christians to remain unmarried – but do so for the Kingdom of God, not selfish reasons.

  

# 2: There is no biblical law that says a married couple must have children, though a couple’s desire not to have children is often linked to heart desires and fears which the gospel trumps.  

 

Heart motivation questions to consider and discuss as a couple:

 

  • Why don’t you want children? More money? More house? More career? Fear? (“I’d be a bad mom! I’m not an expert!”) Bad theology? (“We can serve God better without children.”) A lack of eternal perspective? (“My bucket list!”)

 

  • Why do one of you – or both of you - not want one of the parents to raise the children themselves? More money? More house? More career? Fear? (I’d be a bad mom! I’m not an expert!)  Bad theology? (“We can serve God better without children.”) A lack of eternal perspective? (“My bucket list!”)

 

Practical Helps:

  • Talk about children while dating. Come to key life decisions (who is working, who is staying at home, what each thinks about day-care, etc.) before engagement.
  • Live off one person’s income. Make plans (mortgage, etc.) based on one person’s income.
  • High calling of parenthood. Eternity!!
  • The gospel changes everything.